So here we are again! My last post on this blog was in the month of October, 2012. Little did I know that my work would reflect the pain of every young women in India in a little over 2 months. Just when I was working on another literary piece in the month of December, the news of a young student getting brutally raped and murdered in national capital gripped the whole nation. Then followed, a revolution led by young Indians demanding equal rights and safety for women in the country. It was altogether an overwhelming feeling and killed my appetite for the issues which required a heart to talk about. Never had I ever felt so unsecured or disgusted in my own skin. My whole life started playing in a loop and the things I had never payed much attention to while growing up, made me feel even more guilty and angry about.
Now something to reflect on! I am a perfectly normal Indian girl, who grew up in a countryside village with a population of just above 400. Yes. I have been brought up just like my brother. In fact, there were occasions where I had more independence and choices than what my brother had. I was never denied wearing western clothes even when my womanly assets started developing and my friends embraced the traditional clothing! Well, lets be honest, I was advised but I never followed that because It was all about my skin, my comfort level. Besides that, I never thought it was fair to restrict my lifestyle choices on the basis of my gender. I was fortunate enough to be sent to a missionary school, where young boys were taught to respect girls and girls were encouraged to follow their dreams. I know, you must be shocked RIGHT? Missionary schools and women rights? Well lets say, a set of right people, at a right place and time! I personally was against some of the stringent religious outlooks for women but I followed them merely out of respect. Though, now I think that I should have the courage to question them! Just like I had the courage to ask my science teacher about how the earth was stabilized in the infinite universe and why is it not falling down in a giant black hole!...and that question, that curiosity, destined circumstances and equal opportunities to explore the answer to that little question has led me to where I am today. Just the matter of perspective, you know? The ability to question, the drive to find the right answer and the courage to follow the positive instincts is perhaps what Indian men and women need most at this point!
Just a week before the Nirbhaya Incident happened, I was travelling from my hometown to a southern state in India to start new semester at University. I love travelling alone for the sense of independence it brings to me. After missing my connection train, I was stranded in Delhi at 7 pm with limited cell connectivity, but I was least panicked as I knew that I will find a way out. After arranging a stay I took the Auto rickshaw to my destination which was 5 times the actual price for a solo ride. Needless to say, the meter was just a showpiece on this ride. Fifteen minutes later, when the auto entered a dark road with no cell connection and dark construction sites, my heart was in my mouth. The driver wont answer sincerely how far my destination was. I had already texted the auto number to my friends and was continuously pretending to be talking on phone giving them the hints of my whereabouts. I think that worked and in next five minutes, I was back on a busy high way. Until that day, the fear had never crept through my skin. It was such an overwhelming moment, that the fear of those 5 minutes still send chills down my spine and perhaps, is one of the most striking memory of my life. A week later, my fear struck back but this time it was in the form of a bitter reality, through someone else's suffering. Most of the girls in India have experienced sexual assault in public transport, household and work places while growing up and I'm no exception to it. Most of us choose to stay quiet and only few fight back...and some of us are too young to understand it and only feel disgusted and suffocated. I'm not a hardcore feminist, and I know quite a few male friends who suffered sexual assault in their childhood in one or another form. I don't blame the whole male population of this planet but the men who represent this psychopathic male mentality are unfortunately, representing my culture, society and my nation!
I represent a new generation of Indian youth. I don't believe (much) in religious teachings, social 'norms', cultural 'values', and 'societal acceptability', which restricts me from practicing my life the way I want to. Believe me there are many like me but they lack the courage to say it out loud. In words of a public prosecutor, women have no place in Indian society. I understand, the only place we have is in the vedas and stone deities in temples. Nirbhaya represent millions of young Indian women who dream everyday to break the vivacious circle of their circumstances, who dare to embrace change and are killed in the process on the name of honor. Her family represent thousands of Indian families who thrive to see their daughters flourish and chase their dreams. This, makes me think that she is no different form many of us. It could have been us. Dear brother, it could have been me. Yes, mom-dad, it could have been your daughter.... and my dear friends, it could have been your same friend who you think is too awesome and independent to be in this kind of trouble. So what are you gonna do?
If we look on the global scale, men like Mukesh Singh and ML Sharma exist in all societies. Even in the west, yes! But it is the scale and statistics that make Indian men an epitome of women abusers. As I sit here in the cafeteria writing this article, I can hear two young men checking out women on the next table and talking about their 'assets'. It just makes me only more angry. I miss the society and culture where men behaved as gentlemen. Women have been treated as a sex object in all societies and cultures from the beginning of human civilization and nobody can deny that. While the other cultures progressed, ours only deteriorated. From a society of most civilized men to a state of rapists, we have come a long way. I, hereby, speak on behalf of all the women. I take no pride in belonging to one of the world's oldest civilization that symbolizes women slavery. I will rather embrace the lessons life teaches me. I will rather embrace the changes the different cultures and religions teach me rather than being stuck in a box. I will rather have my own choices about things I want to do in my lifetime. That includes my preferences for type of clothing (hope it doesn't provoke you), my sexual choices (guess what, my consent matters too!), decisions about life partner and maternity, right to education, right to follow my own path which might be socially unacceptable in your god damned culture and right to practice my own religious beliefs. And our men need to understand this! Teach them in middle schools, high schools, universities! Teach them in homes! Teach them in religious institutions! But, don't you dare to mess with us, because we are the same deity of Maa Kaali, Mai Bhago, Jhaansi ki Raani; in whom you take immense pride, offer flowers and worship. If the legal system is impotent, give us a chance and watch some ball-crushing history in the making. If all this sound too liberal to you, behold yourself, there is a storm approaching, which will uproot the very institutions where you sit and 'pretend' to control the system.
Here is something from archives, that prompted me to vent out my anger on this platform! Oh wait, it's not me. It is the voice of every woman of India, which you, dear hypocrites of my society, are too deaf to hear.
Friday, October 12, 2012
The
soul smitten with innocence
She
lay in the womb carefree
Hoping
to see a new world
But
she was killed brutally
All
that she could do was try
And
it all ended in a silent cry
They
said you’re beautiful
She
had a reason to believe
Untill
you broke her heart
And
shattered her to make feel
All
that she could do was try
And
it all ended in a silent cry
In
the valley of emotions
She
saw hearts being sold
Humanity
was starving
She
saw Gods made of gold
All
that she could do was try
And
it all ended in a silent cry
In
the big city’s lightened up sky
She
dreamt of reaching the stars
Lost
in the dazzling metaphor
She
was left with unhealing scars
All
that she could do was try
And
it all ended in a silent cry
To
be found and to be heard
Only
things she ever wanted
A
podium to stand and say it loud
The
right of hers you never granted
All
that she could do was try
And
it all ended in a silent cry
Over and Out! Peace.
